Xenon/Romanticon/Space: Final intro script

[kainenable]

Final intro script

(the title and the credits of the game are shown, and the theme is playing. after the title and credits, the intro continues)

(black background. goofily ominious red text...)

Somewhere.. in the not too distant future.... in Space Quest 12..

(janitor apeman is cleaning up Vohaul's old fortress, there is a floppy on
the ground)

APEJANITOR: Doodly.. doodly.. dooo.. Stupid evil genius lord, always leaves
a mess in the end. Who's the clean up all the debris after the explosion?
It's never HIM! (pause) (notices disk on floor) Hey, what's this?

(picture of apeman examining disk, the disk is labeled: Vohaul Back-up,
Please Do Not Release On Unsuspecting Public )

APEJANITOR: The Great Ape Lord, it's Vohaul! I have to do something!

(APEJANITOR goes to a time pod, conviently placed nearby)

APEJANITOR: (pushing at random controls) Okay.. lets see here.. Timepod..
going to... Space Quest: Vohaul Strikes Back..

(timepod vanishes)

(timepod appears in the center of a room full of apemen in soldier uniforms,
the room itself is dark and ominous, like Vohaul's fortress. however, there
are a few tire swings in the background and a few ropes hanging from the
ceiling)

(an APEMAN CAPTAIN dressed in red approaches the ship as the door opens)

APEMAN CAPTAIN: Janitor 1138! What in the name of Doctor Cornelius are you doing here?

APEJANITOR: Oh High Lord Captain, who I am too humble to even bow down
before.. well, maybe because of the backpains I've been having lately but
really...

APEMAN CAPTAIN: Enough 1138.. what is the meaning of this?

APEJANITOR: I found... (reaches into pocket and pulls out banana peel) THIS!
(pause) I mean.. (pulls out disk) THIS!

APEMAN CAPTAIN: What is this.. wait a second.. is this..... it can't be! But
it is! ALL APEMEN REJOICE! WE HAVE FOUND OUR LEADER!

(lots of 'ook' dialog bubbles poping around the room and if it's possible
some of them are jumping up and down)

APEJANITOR: What are we going to do with him?

APEMAN CAPTAIN: We are going to do something we should of done a while ago.
We here at the Ape-Labs (TM) have been developing a incredibly powerful
robot, something that the great leader deserves. Now, with this disk, we can
make the robot.. LIVE!

APEJANITOR: On primetime?

APEMAN CAPTAIN: Not that kind of live. Idiot.

(black screen.. red letters)

A few weeks later on the secret base...

(Robot is lying on a table, an apeman scientist is looking over him.
There is a window in the background. The APEMEN are watching as the SCIENTIST prepares to reanimate Vohaul)

SCIENTIST: And now.. I will give him.. LIFE! (In the window there is a
thunderbolt)

(the SCIENTIST inserts the disk in the robot)

(the robot's buttons begin to blink, and two red dull "eyes" begin to
flicker...)

VOHAUL: Wilco... will... PAY!

SCIENTIST: Oh Ape Lords, not again...

APEMAN: What's wrong?

SCIENTIST: He's meant to say "Wilco must pay!" Not "Wilco will pay!" Let me
modify this.

SCIENTIST pushes buttons.

VOHAUL: Wilco might pay!...Wilco shall pay!...Wilco can pay!...WILCO MUST PAY!

SCIENTIST: Ahahahaahahahahahahahaaha!

(ook bubbles again)

(Text Box: Meanwhile in the same game.. Our hero Roger Wilco and
his wife Beatrice Wankmeister are at Romanticon-7 having a darned good time,
and are currently having dinner at the Pie-ery, a restaraunt where every
single meal is in pie form.)

(Inside restaurant, Roger and Bea are sitting at a table enjoying a few
drinks and eating pie)

ROGER: And then I said, no way, there's NO WAY I'm cleaning that off!

BEA: Uh huh.

ROGER: So, uh, do you have any funny stories? I'm all out!

BEA: Well, there was this time I was hanging off a ledge and.. oh never
mind.

ROGER: Really? That is incredibly interesting!

BEA: What?

ROGER: Your story.

BEA: I didn't really say a story.

BEA: You know, Roger...

ROGER: Yes, honey?

BEA: Remember that little "accident" we had a little while ago?

(the head of an apeman peers in, unnoticed by ROGER and BEA)

ROGER: You bet! (winks to the player)

BEA: Well... I think you got a little too close... Roger. I'm pregnant.

ROGER: Oh... I love you Bea!

BEA: I love you too, Roger!

APEMAN: Aww.. how romantic.

BEA: Hey, this is a serious moment, don't make fun of it Roger!

ROGER: That wasn't me!

(a group of apemen rush in, Bea pulls out a blaster, Roger cowers under the table and whines like a sissy)

(after Bea kills Apemen he walks over to Roger and puts hand on Roger's shoulder)

BEA: Roger?

ROGER: AAAAAARGH! SPARE MY LIFE! SPARE MY LIFE! Please...(cries)

BEA: Ummmm... Roger. It's just me.

ROGER: Oh...

ROGER gets out from under table and kisses Bea.

DYING APEMAN: Aww, still romantic...

ROGER: Hey! We didn't kill this one yet!

BEA: Don't kill him, he may have information about what the heck this whole thing is about!

ROGER: Oh.. yeah.

BEA: You! Apeman! What the heck is this whole thing about?!

APEMAN: I'm not telling you anything!

BEA: Well, then...

BEA pulls out a fishing pole attached to a banana.

APEMAN: Oh no...the craving. The craving!

APEMAN reaches for banana but Bea jerks pole up.

BEA: So what do you know what this thing about?

APEMAN: BANANA BANANA BANANA...

APEMAN jumps wildly and "OOK" bubbles pop up from his head.

ROGER punches Apeman.

BEA: ROGER!

ROGER: I thought I did the right thing!

APEMAN: Uhh...Vohaul is alive! We've used his mind to create a cyborg replica of him!

ROGER: NO!

APEMAN: YES!

ROGER: NO!

APEMAN: YES!

ROGER: NO!

BEA: Roger, shut up.

ROGER: Yes dear.

BEA: Now.. where is this Vohaul?

APEMAN: He is on the planet Radon!

ROGER: NO!

BEA: ROGER!

ROGER: Uh. Sorry... So, is he still mad at me?

APEMAN: Ummm... I guess. Why do you think he wanted us to kill you?

ROGER: Well, I bet it's just a misunderstanding.. I mean, sure I did foil his plans quite a few times.. but I mean, that's the sort of thing that people best get over. However, it seems like I have to do it again. I will have to travel to his evil hideout! Once again, I must fight his diabolical mastermind! I must defend my homeworld from this relentless evil force, who has hunted me in so many prequels already. But he will never defeat me! I AM ROGER WILCO, STARCON JANITOR WITH LICENSE TO CLEAN!

(while ROGER makes his impressive monologue, the apeman tries to interfere with sentences like "Sir... Can I have my banana now?" or "Please! Just give me my banana!" etc. After the monologue, the apeman gets tired and exhales for the last time in his life.)

ROGER: Hey! What about your banana?

BEA: Roger...

ROGER: Never mind.

BEA: So what do we do now?

ROGER: Well, didn't he mention a planet named Radon or something? I think we should pay it a visit.

(planet Radon seen from outer space, the aluminium mallard flyes towards it. suddenly, the ship is hit by a big laser beam. the aluminium mallard gets out of control and crashes on the planet.)

(start of game...)
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Screen ONE Rough Draft: Note, since this *is* the rough draft I haven't
hammered out all the puzzles to happen, so some inventory items may end up
in subsequent revisions.

[Tom S. Fox]

When did you drop the idea with the ape janitor and replaced it with the time travel plot?

[pcj]

Around 2005. I've flagged the relevant discussion for de-classifying review and will let you know when that's available.

[pcj]

Now available at viewtopic.php?f=35&t=581